The Ironic Cruelty of Hypocrisy
by CeciltheGleek
Summary: Rachel has a revelation abour her and Finn's break-up which pushes her to confront Finn. Rachel's POV after 'Special Education'. One-shot


**So I was listening to Taylor Swifts 'White Horse' today (one of the few songs I like, though I don't actually hate Taylor Swift) and got the idea for this story. Since I saw 'Special Education', I have become quite frustrated and NOT BECAUSE IM GOING CRAZY ABOUT THE FINCHEL BREAK UP. I'm frustrated because of how Ryan Murphy handled it, and how he made Rachel seem like the 'bad guy' again. Her focusing on the whole 'Santana' thing gave Finn an excuse to not really be 'guilty' if you know what I mean. And really, by the end of the episode I was disappointed more in how and why the Break – up happened. I would have preferred Rachel to have broken up with Finn since he has basically cut her off 4 times now. And also Finn is being an ass and hypocritical. But enough of that for now. This story basically shows what I think Rachel SHOULD be feeling and expressing after what happened at the end of 'Special Education'. If you have heard 'White Horse' you should spot some references in this story, as it was my inspiration.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. What a shock…**

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"Leave me alone Berry!" Quinn aggressively shouted.

"Just answer the question Quinn!" Rachel responded, the same fire burning in her eyes, igniting the tension further.

"You know, ever since you and Finn broke up you have just been mopey, which I sort of liked since you talked less. What happened that you felt the need to disappoint me?"

It all started on Friday. For her own benefit, Rachel decided to remove all the personal belongings she related to her now non-existent relationship with Finn, and safely store them away at home. At least then she wouldn't grimace each time her locker opened, but rather never have to reminisce over here sadness because of flashes of memories. However, as to the short term, it had been a mistake. While rummaging through the old possessions, Rachel once again came across her 'crazy calendar'. Finn's smiling face began to torment her, and she was forced to tear her eyes away, rapidly burying the object underneath the other possessions. The tears had stopped. Rachel would not be drained of any more moisture because of her ex, but she still felt a pain in her chest every time she thought about what happened.

And that's when Rachel began to think deeply about her and Finn's relationship. A light was burning in her mind, a memory that seemed to be calling out to her. This feeling was familiar, she had felt this pain before. And once again, Finn had caused it.

The hard timber below Rachel seemed to melt away as she suddenly felt a soft blanket beneath her. Finn had briskly exited the auditorium because of a reason only he could know, leaving a stunned and crushed girl behind to recover by herself and one of the most romantic kisses of her life.

Rachel then transported to the choir room, reliving her shock when Kurt broke the news that Finn was the father of Quinn's baby. Never before had Rachel felt so used, like a toy that could be thrown in the garbage after it served its purpose. Finn was an expert at leading Rachel on, like after Sectionals. Their relationship had barely begun before Finn decided to rip it to shreds.

Rachel returned to reality, having to lean against her bed for physical and emotional support. The truth was, Finn had hurt Rachel so much more than she had hurt him. He claimed that Santana and he weren't dating, therefore technically did not cheat on Rachel. That she was in the wrong. But looking back, Rachel couldn't suppress the idea that he was being a hypocrite.

And that's why she has arrived at school on Monday morning with the intention to confront Quinn. Rachel needed to know about how Finn had treated her during their relationship.

"Look Quinn," Rachel continued, "It's just something I need to know for myself. After helping you last year with the whole pregnancy thing it is really the least you could do."

Quinn stayed silent for many seconds, considering Rachel's statement. After she didn't reply, Rachel tried again.

"Please just answer the question. Did you or did you not feel comfortable when Finn spent time with me while you were dating?"

Quinn sighed. "Look, I really don't want to get involved in this conflict…"

"If you just answer, I promise to not talk or even acknowledge you in the next week, since I don't think I can go for longer."

Quinn could not have answered more hastily. "Okay that really is an offer I can't refuse. Fine, I didn't like when Finn hung around you, since the attraction was obvious and all, not to mention he seemed to keep checking you out every time, but I really don't care now okay!"

"And did he ever tell you about anything we did together?"

"I thought it would just be the one question…"

"Just answer it Quinn!"

"Yeah he told me about that time he went over your house for the night. Look it wasn't even that bad, I mean it's not like he slept with you or anything. Right?" Quinn added just in case, but then quickly shook her head. "You know what, I don't even want to know."

Rachel scoffed. "No Quinn, he didn't."

Rachel was furious. Finn had never informed Quinn of their two kissing incidents while they were dating. Sure at the time that was better for Rachel, but looking back she realised that Finn had really cheated on Quinn and neglected to ever come clean. Now (while Rachel had the absolute right to be furious at Finn), she cheated with Puck, but at least told the truth. It seemed ironic that she was the one to be honest, yet Finn was acting like the victim. Would he have been happier if she kept her mouth shut like he did? It seemed everyone was at the mercy of Finn's lies. What Rachel did was wrong, she knew that. But Finn was trying to become the innocent child in this situation, like he was taken advantage of. Now, Finn was just following Santana with his tongue hanging out, completely forgetting the fact she was the reason this situation ever arose. Even after she spilled the beans, Finn still didn't stop ogling her even though she betrayed HIS trust. Rachel had to wonder, did he truly regret sleeping with Santana last year? Or was it just an added bonus in his romantic life.

So Rachel stormed away from Quinn, one fist clenched, while the other was trying unknowingly trying to rip the pages out of her school books with its nails. Her eyebrows were furrowed, and it was obvious to all passerbies that Rachel was not to be meddled with.

Unfortunately, unlikely circumstances caused Rachel to aggressively collide her shoulder with the muscular chest of none other than tall quarterback while pacing down the hallway. Their eyes met for a second, Rachel spotting a hint of discomfort in Finn's, while Finn found himself gazing at pure anger. It turned out to be a very short second, since Rachel could not bear being close to Finn at that point in time. However, he noticed her obvious bitterness, and wouldn't allow Rachel to escape.

"Rachel? What the hell was that?"

Rachel began to slowly halt; having to dig her heals into the concrete to convince herself to stop. Finn's communication presented an opening where she could confront him, and there was no way she could pass the opportunity by. Mouth tightly wound and eyelids glued in place, she turned to face her ex, and began the assault.

"YOU HYPOCRITE!"

Finn immediately became defensive, muscles tightening, however completely taken back by Rachel's outburst.

"What?"

"You condemn me for cheating on you with Puck, after MAY I ADD finding out you slept with Santana, yet you cheated on Quinn twice with me! Let me ask, does she know Finn?"

Finn, who immediately wanted to retaliate aggressively, stumbled after hearing Rachel's last statement. Instead of firing back a logical argument, he simply began stuttering. "Well…I….I mean…"

But Rachel held up her hand to stop him. "Forget, I already asked Quinn and know you didn't. Hypocrite!" She once again bitterly spat.

Finn however felt that Rachel was being totally unreasonable, and had drifted from the actual point of the entire conflict. "Don't turn this around on me Rachel! That was different! I actually had feelings for you; I didn't just kiss you to brutally hurt Quinn!" They were both completely red, eyes trying to aim knives at each other's hearts while they argued.

"Oh right, just like you had pure feelings for me when you kissed me so I would join Glee club again?" Finn tried to intervene, but Rachel was too quick. "Oh wait here is an even better one! When you were in love with SANTANA and slept with her! Right?"

"Rachel, I have apologised for that, for both of them! And once again, WE WEREN'T TOGETHER! YOU CAN'T BE ANGRY AT ME!"

"Yeah, but now I'm just starting to realise how dishonest you really are. And I can also lose a lot of respect for you, since you slept with a girl who you didn't even care about! And you said what I did was immoral…"

"I know I shouldn't have lied, and I know I have been dishonest before but I still loved you, and you knew that. But what you did with Puck was just cruel."

"Yet I still ended up stupidly forgiving you for what you did with Santana, and I get rewarded by being labelled a slut for the entire school's entertainment. Seriously Finn, were you just going to continue your relationship with me, and then when we eventually reached that point when we were both ready, let me go through with it without knowing the truth?"

The longest pause of their conversation then occurred. Finn eyes were almost hesitantly examining his girlfriend, trying to think of a careful and intelligent response. Rachel waited in a fearful anticipation, almost shaking in an attempt to contain her emotions. She was grateful when Finn finally spoke.

"I don't know what I would have done Rachel. I'd like to believe that I wasn't but…I was just so scared to lose you. Guess that didn't turn out the way I wanted…" Rachel in that moment was forced to rip her eyes away from Finn, fighting the moisture that had been rising. "Look…" Finn took a step towards Rachel, who in return bent back slightly to avoid any more contact with the person who she had held for so long. "What I did with Santana was immoral, yes. But what you did was Puck was cruel, and I just can't comprehend the fact that you would go out of your way to get revenge on me. I'm sorry I just…can't."

"In all honesty Finn, I was so disappointed in myself after I did what I did. But not as disappointed as I was in you for not even trying to understand. Or more importantly for acting like the victim and blaming the whole situation on me."

Rachel then had to inhale deeply, the air spreading through her body and relaxing her nerves. She couldn't yell at Finn anymore, it was too hard to contain herself. So instead, Rachel went to take a seat on the side of the hall, smoothly removing the strands of hair lingering before her eyes.

"And what the hell are you doing now? What are we doing?" Finn curiously tilted his head, furrowing his eyebrows to indicate confusion. "I mean, you are basically following Santana around, bowing to her will. Even after she basically ruined this relationship with her big mouth. All you seem to be doing is checking her out these days."

Finn groaned. Rachel had returned to the whole Santana thing, and Finn wasn't very enthusiastic about returning to the subject. "Look Rachel, this isn't about Santana…"

"Yes it is! I mean aren't you just a little bit mad at her? Or at least smart enough to not begin flirting with her after I begin to lose my trust in you? It's not a smart thing to do Finn, not when I honestly believed in you…"

Finn then let out an exasperated sigh, finding the strength to reply calmly and to not allow the overwhelming emotions to consume him. "Firstly, no I can't be mad at Santana because it is not her fault that I agreed to sleep with her. And I can't condemn her for telling the truth. Secondly, my relationship with Santana is not romantic in anyway. She's a cheerleader, I play football it's natural we hang out now and then. It isn't some ploy to try and hurt you Rachel."

"And she's super hot right?"

"Well yes I mean…BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT!"

Finn's impatience was beginning to get the best of him. Rachel always knew exactly how to get him to feel guilty, or how to trap him in an argument. So silently and tranquilly he took a seat beside his ex.

"I'm sorry Rachel, about everything but, I don't think I can go back to what we were. After Quinn, I thought I was getting away from it all. I guess that's why I'm finding it so hard to forgive you about what happened with Puck. I mean Quinn didn't even want to hurt me so I guess it's almost worse. I know that you had a better reason, even if it's cruel but… I just don't know how I can ever look at us the same."

"Neither do I," Rachel replied, "I don't know how I could ever look at _you_ the same."

Finn winced at Rachel's harsh words, yet not at all bitterly delivered. They sat together in a solemn silence, motionlessly reflecting on their argument. Rachel had remained collected for a significant time, before Finn twisted his head at her sudden, unenthusiastic, sarcastic chuckle.

"I have no idea how I even thought we could have lasted." Finn almost instantaneously wanted to defend both their honours, but Rachel wasn't finished. "I mean look at us? We basically come from two different worlds. I used to think that was our strength, the best thing about what we effectively were but…it was probably what brought us down in the end."

"What are you talking about Rachel?" Finn accusingly asked.

"I'm just a loser Finn. I'm not a princess, and this isn't a fairytale...People like you and me just don't have happy endings. I mean, you sleep with a cheerleader and people won't blink an eye, and I'm not even talking about Santana. People just expect that someone like you would look for someone…not like me. And me, if I'm with you it would be considered deplorable to even stare at someone else. Like I can't be grateful for what I have, I'm already lucky. Not that I;m saying I wasn't!"

Finn was shaking his head, in complete disagreement with Rachel. "Rachel, we worked...because we loved each other." He delivered the statement painfully, regretting the fact he was trying to make it sound like those feelings no longer existed. Rachel slightly smiled, but still gloomily rose from her seat, collecting her books and turning back towards Finn.

"Yeah, look how that worked for us." A long pause again surpassed between them, Finn regretfully reminiscing about what he lost. "I thought we would go so far, I had so many dreams for us…"

Finn looked up at his ex, heavyhearted and mournful, finding the strength to reply. "So did I."

And with that final statement, Rachel, sombre and downcast walked away from Finn, raising her chin to stare at the roof so the tears wouldn't fall. Unfortunately, the limited vision she gave herself by doing so eliminated Karofsky's figure from her sight, and she was aggressively shoved, falling back into the locker and books helplessly scrambling onto the ground. She looked back, spotting the howling boy who had just rammed into her, but more importantly, she stared at her ex. Finn, sickened by Karofsky's actions had jumped from his seat, but that seemed to be as far as he got. As Karofsky past him, Finn made no move or effort to defend his ex, but merely remained staring at her unsurely, while she returned a pleading look. For many seconds Finn was frozen in this position, while Rachel, still keeping eye contact, already began regaining her books. He gulped numerous times, thinking that somehow that would help him make a decision about what to do. But he never did, and just stood in between the two options he had. Walking away, or actually aiding the girl who caused him so much ache.

Rachel couldn't believe that Finn still didn't make a move. She was more dumbfounded by his hesitant stance then Karofsky's assault. Her eyes never left Finn's, until eventually another voice broke through her subconscious.

"Jeez Berry, I know I said I'd be nicer but that doesn't mean every time I walk past you need to find a reason for me to help you." Puck bent over to aid Rachel, wickedly smiling which Rachel found she was surprisingly able to return.

"Sorry Noah, next time I'll ask Karofsky to just lightly bump me." Although Puck's face was suddenly plagued with disapproval, he was able to grin at her statement, gently passing the books back as they both rose.

"Here, let me walk you to your class. No offence but you're looking pretty sad Berry."

Rachel had to be honest, it was difficult to immediately accept Puck's request. Looking back towards Finn, she was not surprised to see him in the same position as before, only now he seemed to have some willingness to intervene. His face also radiated much pain and regret, yet he still did not move. Something held him back, and Rachel knew exactly what that was.

So, turning back towards Puck, she happily accepted his arm and began to walk. "That would be lovely Noah."

While she walked, Rachel was tempted to glance back at Finn, but resisted the temptation as she could feel his melancholy eyes on her back. No doubt they were both hurting, but they both also understood one thing from their actions. Rachel should have known from the beginning.

It was over.

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**So that was just basically what I thought Rachel's POV should be. Or what she should be getting angry at Finn for. I waited so long for the episode where Rachel found out, fully ready for a break-up, but disappointed with it. None of these issues were tackled by Rachel's character, and I do not appreciate Ryan Murphy for making her look very shallow. Not that upset with the whole Puck and Rachel thing (Puck was so sweet last episode, seriously) actually, just really pissed at Finn's hypocrisy. GAR! **

**Oh and one last note. Those incredibly distraught Finchel fans that are going crazy right now, CALM DOWN. I'm not that appreciative of Ryan Murphy lying and all, but I know that Finchel will always exist, even when they aren't together. If fact it can be very interesting when they aren't. Having seen the Christmas episode yet, but I certainly hope Rachel will stop going after Finn for a while and realise she is not completely to blame. In fact I'm going to go half (but then, I have a bias). All for the staring at each other across a room, but please not the pining for now.**

**Anyway, excuse my complaining. I do believe I have basically repeated all this in my profile. Just please review and tell me what you think for my second story!**

**CeciltheGleek**


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